Mountain

So today I realized that in order to be on campus when I want to, I will need to have raised $35,000 by August 15th. That's a month and a half. Talk about a mountain. My Pop-Pop used to say "trust God to move your mountain but keep on digging." Boy is that true here. He has to move in order for this mountain to even budge, but you bet your britches I gotta keep on digging. Two days ago I finally sent out my first letter. It was edited, revised, perfected, then printed. I had to spring for the color copies... it just looks so much nicer. When the letter was finally sitting in my hands, I had to actually find addresses for people I wanted the letter to go to, type them into my computer, figure out the address label system, print the labels, then handwrite each name on each letter to correspond with the address label put on the envelope. And that was only half the job. Next I had to sign each letter, stamp my name into both the business reply envelope (BRE if you're a cool talk IV person), and the intent card, make sure the intent card and the general envelope was stamped with the proper postage amount (thank you U.S. postal services for raising postage during MY fundraising) and make sure each envelope had the proper return address label. This was quite an undertaking. Nevertheless, at 10:37 a.m on May 22, 2007, I prayed over 100 envelopes and dropped them into the mailbox to go their seperate ways. Maybe no one will support me. Maybe lots of people will. I figured out that if every person I send a letter to this summer sends me a one time gift of $40, I will have raised almost half of what I need to raise. Scary? Heck yes! But I believe in a God who has made foolish the wisdom of the world. The wisdom of the world, and at times my own heart, says there is no stinking way this money will ever come through. But, "the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men" (1 Corinthians 1:25) and there has never been a greater truth for me to cling to. What seems absolutely ridiculously impossible can be made possible by the power of the God who has called me into it. And I can rest in the knowledge that my God is able, even if He chooses not to provide the money.

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55:8-11

The ways of the Lord are beyond me, and I love that. I love to know with absolute certainty that there is something bigger than me. Donald Miller sums it up so perfectly when he says,

"There is a lie floating around that says I am supposed to be able to do life alone, without any help, without stopping to worship something bigger than myself. But I actually believe there is something bigger than me, and I need for there to be something bigger than me. I need someone to put awe inside me; I need to come second to someone who has everything figured out."

I've always loved this thought. I look for it in the books I read and the pastors I respect. I look for it even in dating relationships. Part of the greatness of joining a sorority for me was that I would have a "big sister", someone who would understand things and take care of me as the little one. I love to lead, but even more than that, I love to be second to someone who's got it all under control. And that's what I get this summer. I get to come second to the Lord who has it all figured out, down to the very last penny. I get to trust Him, admire His work, and adore Him for His provisions. Even as the rain and snow fall from heaven to water the daffodils I love so much, so will His promise to provide for me fall on me this summer and not return to Him without accomplishing its purpose. Whether that purpose is to show me an abundance of financial provision, or to show me that His goodness is worth trusting even if the dream falls apart. Either way, His promise is true, and either way, it is Him doing the work. I get to be second, and I get to stand in awe of this mountain as I continue to dig, believing that no matter what, this next month and a half holds great things.